Movie buffs can be frighteningly obsessive, but I may have just discovered an interesting outlet for their energy. Brandchannel features fascinating listings of the many ways product placement has infiltrated your recent cinema experiences. Documenting movies debuting at the beginning of the decade up through the just-released, the commercial skeptic in all of us can now see what beer was shilled in Keanu Reeves’ 2001 stinker Hard Ball (answer: Sam Adams).
According to Wikipedia (the closest this blog will ever come to research), the first significant product integration came from Fatty Arbuckle’s 1919 film The Garage, which featured Red Crown gasoline. From there, placement has ranged from iconic (E.T.’s love affair with Reese’s Pieces) to the overbearing (Will Smith’s obsession with Converse sneakers in I, Robot.)
But perhaps the most interesting element of product placement is the audience’s kneejerk reaction to spot the pervading advertisement and declare that they are too sophisticated to fall for its cinematic charm. This is fueled by meta-sitcoms such as 30 Rock and Arrested Development, which complain not-so-subtlety about the need to sell for companies while doing just that.
Ultimately, even a rejection of blatant product placement is still a victory for companies, who thrive anytime that their name is on your lips. After all, even if you bitch about how TJ Maxx ruined your enjoyment of 2001’s iconic Josie and the Pussycats, bad publicity is good publicity. After all, movies are expensive and real products add to a realistic world, so between choosing a brand-free movie or one with a heftier budget, hand me over the latter. So head over to brandchannel and see how your eyeballs will be assaulted by the free market in a theatre near you.
Here is a YouTube tribute to all of the product placement in one of the best movies ever made by man, Transformers:
It is with a heavy heart that I am finally writing my “Farewell, Fox Reality Channel” post. It’s taken me some time to process the news, and I have finally come to terms with the fact that two of my favorite shows will no longer constantly be on repeat.
(Full disclosure – I have not had access to FRC for over two months due to a tragic move to shitty, shitty cable provider Comcast. Fuck them.)
At any rate, my memories of the brilliant FRC marathons will live on, due to the genius behind the two shows below:
The Moment of Truth: Yes, this show had its original run on Fox, but FRC replays it all of the time. If you’ve never seen this hour of genius, here is the scoop: TV host extraordinaire Mark L. Walberg sits at a stage HEAVILY inspired by the set of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? and asks contestants a series of questions about their personal lives. They have to answer truthfully (measured against a pre-show lie detector test) to advance and make money. Sounds simple, right?
WRONG! This show is awesome because it literally shatters families and lives. HAHAHA! In a brilliant move, the producers make the contestant’s family sit front row to the proceedings, listening as the one in the hot seat recalls how they have lied, cheated, stolen and slept their way to where they are today.
The questions usually start out soft, like “Have you ever had a sexy dream about your boss?” or something lame like that. But then they get juicy. One time, they asked an EMT if they’ve ever ignored a service call on the job. They said yes! Oh boy – their boss must have gotten a kick out of that! They’ve asked married men if they’ve ever slept with other men, married women if they’ve hooked up with brothers-in-law, and all about peoples’ drugged-out pasts. And the ones who love the contestants just cry and cry and cry! It’s great, and I can’t believe it does not run every night like American Idol.
Battle of the Bods: When I’m worn out from all of the emotion that I invest into The Moment of Truth, I cool down with BOTB. This show, a FRC original, takes a hot British host who organizes a gaggle of young women and lines them up. From there, the ladies rank themselves in order of hottest to nottest in different categories – butt, boobs, face, etc. Now before you sign up for this competition, Gloria Steinem, I haven’t even told you the best part: the women all have huge egos and fight in the shrillest ways possible. This is compounded in awesomeness by the fact that of the five, four girls are always busted and ugly. One is attractive, and she totally knows it.
The judges are always awesome male stereotypes as well, who rank the bikini-clad ladies on lovingly arbitrary scales. The closer the women guess to the order that the males rate, the more money they get! But everyone wins when groups such as high school nerds, black guys and gay men pick apart women and let them know that because of superficiality there are indeed winners and losers in life.
Kind of like a contemporary gladiator battle for E!-brainwashed whores, this show is television at both its best and worst. It’s bad because, yeah, it blatantly treats women as objects. But you can’t deny how ballsy it is in its honesty. While many other shows pretend as if T&A is not their end goal, these folks are at least brazen enough to admit it. It’s basically a meta-meditation on the current state of television. Or at least a show where the cameras pans very, very slowly over boobies.
So fare-thee-well FRC – it’s been real. And to the incoming National Geographic Wild which will be taking its place – fuck you animals, fuck you nature, and fuck you indigenous peoples.
Goddammit I love Ghostface Killah. My birthday is soon approaching, and I am giving myself tickets to his upcoming Chicago tour stop as a present. I CANNOT stop babbling about it. For those of you who need a rundown, this is what he’s all about:
-Being the coolest member of the Wu-Tang Clan
-Utilizing great beats with huge soul samples and then yelling all over them.
-Rapping VERY explicitly about sex, murder, drugs, and general thuggery while vehemently denying participation in any of it in interviews.
Basically, he is the man. And as a tribute to my love, I would like to present a PopNauseum first: a Ghostface-to-English analysis of just one of his moments of genius. The track in question is the excellently random-named “Gihad,” a cut off of Wu-mate Raekwon’s recent Only Built 4 Cuban Linx…Pt. II. Ghostface clearly steals the show because of the following story that he tells:
Continuing in the rich tradition of porn parodies, Hustler is proud to present This Ain’t Saved by the Bell – a sexy spoof of the original “comedy.” And as with all high-art porn, the acting is nothing short of Oscar-worthy.
I probably won’t shell out the $40 for the DVD (and certainly not the $50 for the Blu-ray version, though I’m sure the added clarity is worth its weight in gold). So here are my five favorite moments based on the official trailer:
1. The bitchin’ theme song (listen closely)
2. Mr. Belding getting a blowj under his desk
3. Zack and Slater discussing the rules of a threesome
4. The cheesy pink effect used in the dream sequence
5. Zack breaking the fourth wall, yet again
I do have one complaint, though: Why is there no appearance from über lezbo Tori? The leather-themed girl-on-girl action practically writes itself!
Have you ever shopped at Aldi? If you haven’t, you might as well go and tie the noose right now because your life is just pathetic.
A bare-bones grocery store with no-name brands, you can buy just about anything at Aldi for a dollar and your soul will be filled with love. I went there today and grabbed all of this for eight bucks:
-a huge bag of cheese curls
-a huge bag of Dorito-type chips
-two MASSIVE frozen pizzas (sausage and pepperoni)
-powder for 8 quarts of a Kool-Aid-esque draaank
Can you fucking believe this? It’s crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No matter that my heart will soon fail due to all of the crap I just purchased – the savings made me cum in my pants. Literally. And figuratively.
Appropriately enough, I found this YouTube rap parody which is so cheap and tacky that it must be about Aldi. It is to real rap videos as Aldi is to real grocery stores: kind of shitty but full of chutzpah.
Since this is the first time Degrassi has been mentioned on PopNauseam, I want to get something clear right off the bat: I’m. Obsessed. With. This. Fucking. Show. Bill loves it too, but I don’t think he would ever jump in front of a moving vehicle to save one of the cast members. I totally would. Even that grease ball Johnny DiMarco.
Our shared love of average-looking Canadian actors aside, we’re also very excited because the ninth (yes, ninth) season premiere of Degrassi is airing TONIGHT on Teen Nick! (In other news, ever since they changed The-N’s name to Teen Nick I’ve felt like an even bigger loser for watching it).
And thanks to some cheeky Canadian (redundant, I know), we’ve got an early look at the opening credits for season nine. Along with a new version of the theme song — this time performed by Jamie Johnston (Peter), Raymond Ablack (Sav) and Paula Brancati (Jane) — there are a few characters noticeably MIA from the action. Liberty, Kelly and Derek — where you at???
And yes, the above photo is Miriam McDonald) from back in season one. Emma Nelson, my how you’ve grown.
Halloween is coming and I need a costume – stat! I’ve been looking online and have humorously repurposed the names of some ***naughty*** costume shop selections so you can help me choose:
After many months of suffering, South Park fans finally got their fix last night — and what a fix it was! The controversial toon kicked off the second half of its 13th season by targetting this past summer’s bevy of dead celebrities, including everyone from Michael Jackson (as the beloved Mr. Jefferson, of course) and TV pitchman/coke-fiend Billy Mays.
Here’s the basic plot: In a nod to The Sixth Sense (Trey Parker and Matt Stone just love M. Knight Shyamalan) Kyle’s adopted Canadian brother, Ike, begins seeing dead celebrities. As the story unfolds, we learn that all the celebrities who died this summer are stuck in Purgatory, as Wacko Jacko refuses to come to terms with his own death. The remedy for this? MJ possesses Ike’s body and enters a beauty pageant, so that the world can finally accept him as a little white girl.
I have no doubt this episode will be all over the news tomorrow, and everyone will have their own opinion as to whether or not Matt and Trey went too far (again). But before we all start running our mouths (I loved it to freakin’ pieces) let’s see what Billy Mays’ son thought of his father’s portrayal on the show. Here are a few of his thoughts, via his official Twitter:
I’m seriously honored that my dad is involved in this South Park Ep. He’d have gotten a kick out of this. Highlight for me.. My dad’s ghost ‘pitching’ his threat to Patrick Swayze’s ghost after Pat told him to shut up.. LOL
So, honestly, if Billy Mays’ son is OK with the jokes then everyone else can just quit their bitching right now. Besides, it’s pretty obvious the only people who should be offended by tonight’s episode are fans of Chipotle. I’ve dined on the meaty goodness many times in my life and not once have I ended the night with blood in my underwear.
There’s nothing like terror on Christmas Day. Whether a questionable hug from a pervy uncle or the sight of Grandma passed out in the eggnog, it cannot be the holidays without a little tragedy. In that spirit, make this a Christmas to remember with these frightening Sokkly dolls from Japanese company LittleIsland. Decidedly the most haunting things ever manufactured, these little yous will sit on your mantle staring blankly, waiting for the day they become Pinocchio’d and take over your life. Visit their website here to make your own.
On the upside, if you are this creepily narcissistic, it is much cheaper to go with LittleIsland over Nike:
Pop culture references on Family Guy have always been pretty hit or miss. If you’re familiar with the reference, you’ll usually laugh, or at the very least appreciate the joke. But if you’re completely in the dark, God help you.
I, unfortunately, fell into the latter category while watching this past Sunday’s episode of The Cleveland Show. In what I now find to be a pretty hilarious cut, Cleveland recalls winning an Oscar for his performance in Monster’s Ball. I haven’t always been an avid awards show viewer, so I have to admit I never saw Halle Berry’s original speech. So naturally, I clicked over to YouTube to see what I missed.
I discovered two interesting things in doing this: First, the impression was surprisingly spot-on. And secondly, I wasn’t the only person who needed to check YouTube. Here are just a few of the MANY comments left on the video:
rogersman: lol…how many others just came here from the cleveland show? kingwalton: I stopped the episode half way through so I could watch this. stonedinmyroom: i got cleveland on pause in another window on hulu
I never thought I’d say this, but maybe Seth MacFarlane’s wacky humor serves a greater purpose: to keep ridiculous pop culture moments like this one alive. Here’s the big speech, in case you missed it. (Seriously though, people, this is the same woman who starred in Catwoman, right? Yeesh!)
Continuing in the rich tradition of porn parodies, Hustler is proud to present This Ain’t Saved by the Bell – a sexy spoof of the original “comedy.” And as with all high-art porn, the acting is nothing short of Oscar-worthy.
Since this is the first time Degrassi has been mentioned on PopNauseam, I want to get something clear right off the bat: I’m. Obsessed. With. This. Fucking. Show. Bill loves it too, but I don’t think he would ever jump in front of a moving vehicle to save one of the cast members. I totally would. Even that grease ball Johnny DiMarco.
After many months of suffering, South Park fans finally got their fix last night — and what a fix it was! The controversial toon kicked off the second half of its 13th season by targetting this past summer’s bevy of dead celebrities, including everyone from Michael Jackson (as the beloved Mr. Jefferson, of course) and TV pitchman/coke-fiend Billy Mays.
Pop culture references on Family Guy have always been pretty hit or miss. If you’re familiar with the reference, you’ll usually laugh, or at the very least appreciate the joke. But if you’re completely in the dark, God help you.